A week is like a tiny schedule capsule; there are a certain amount of things that have to get done within that week, and then when the next week comes it is basically the same thing all over again. I am living the schedule that I believe I SWORE I would never live when I was younger. heh heh. Aahhh youth.
Lately my response to any show or song that expresses deep levels of compassion, or loss, I cry. It doesn't have to be a situation I can relate to. Sometimes it can just be the emotion that seems to be pulled up from a particular melody. It has been q
uite a nuisance, but it is also.... well.. it feels like it HAS to come out. Like I have this level of sadness inside of me, not that I feel it all the time and it certainly doesn't feel like anything specific, just this low level of "sad" that has to come out, so I have decided to try and let it. It's okay Shar, cry. We all need to cry sometimes. Don't even need to know why.
My son does NOT like seeing me cry though! He seems
capable of understanding though that sometimes it is in response to something really sad that happened on a show, and that MIGHT be okay (ie; it doesnt freak him out as much).
Yeah. OI think this is still my body readjusting from the meds ending. Yes, I believe it is all for a greater good.
I had a thought yesterday, as Cutey Pie maneuvered himself onto
my lap and then became leaden. Cats do not work to please us. They kinda live to please themselves (oooh, big idea huh!!), and it is THIS that allows me
somehow to appreciate them more. I am free to admire the way their fur curves around their bodies making cool designs, I can enjoy the way they know how to look cute and try to get things, I can indulge them in some warm lap time when there really are other things I should be doing. AND THEN, I can kick them to the curb without a second thought so I can be productive again, and there are no hurt feelings! Well, none that last very long....
3 comments:
At least your not wearing undies with saturday print on them today ^.^ . As for the swearing you would never do something when you were younger, we all have them. There are a few though that I actually still keep though. Maybe you do to?
Gabe not liking to see you cry.... Tori is very much the same way with Angie. However the reason why you both cry are very very different. You know children see us as superman and wonderwoman, so to see us cry it makes them scared. But I am glad Gabe gets to see that it is ok to cry and that there is nothing wrong with it. I will just have to teach him though that its only ok for girls to cry and that real men get rid of there emotions through physical and verbal abuse on women and animals. >.< kiddidng lol
As for the cats. It's cause they know the soo freaking own you lol. However, There are huge differences in cats that recieve love and cats that don't. Cutey Pie, Spackle and Louie are extremely lucky to have you. I look at the stray gathering of cats at my Grandmothers and feel bad for them because they do not know love from people, they just know fear and caution.
I used to be that way about seeing or hearing sad stuff. I still am to a point but have learned to filter it out from years of filtering out sounds I just have no interest in hearing. Like when I'm on a car ride with the kids and they will not be quiet. I can pretty much completely ignore it but it drives everyone else I know bat crap crazy. I think all good, sensitive, caring people feel the need to cry at times. It is totally healthy and natural.
Michael and Kaliana are the same way when they see me cry. Kali seems especially sensitive to when anyone cries. She wants to go comfort them. Its too cute. Michael is concerned but easily distracted. I really wonder about Kali sometimes. She seems too smart sometimes, its a little freaky.
Cats are one of the things I simply smile, nod, and tolerate so I won't comment any further on them here.
Oh and just for the record, I've never owned panties with the days of the week on them because I already have enough trouble remembering what day it is. XD
I think Cutie Pie was the one causing me foot cramps during the night... the things we do for those soft, self-centered, fluffy beasties.
*Word* on the rest.
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