small appreciations

There are things in my life I am acutely aware of loving deeply.

I love watching my son sparkle and glow when he figures out how mathematics work.

I love my cats' affection for me.

I love cocoa butter on my skin from my bath water, because I love how soft my skin is.

I love the end of a day after I thoroughly enjoyed everything I accomplished, then curling up on to crisp clean sheets and doing crossword puzzles until my eyelids are heavy.

morning fuzzies

My thoughts... my brain.. always running, flying off in multiple directions, makes it hard to go to sleep at night.

What frustrates me the most about my mental capacity is that it is so controlled by my hormones and whatever other chemicals in my body change my daily emotional state.  One day I can have something deeply personal all figured out, like the oneness of life, how we are all connected, and feeling so content in my little place in it all.  The next morning I can wake up and be paranoid that I am too fat, too brain damaged, too slow witted, too *insert myriad of other delusions here* to really fit in or be accepted anywhere.  

IS it like this for everyone???